It’s not about us.

This April I completed two half marathons, attended my degree graduation ceremony and started a new job. It’s been quite a month, the culmination of many weeks, months and years of work. But I have come to realize more than ever how it’s not just about me. It could be an age thing, but I think that I have come to another milestone from knowledge to understanding.

Let me try to explain.

If you want to see a rainbow you have to learn to like the rain

-        Paulo Coelho, Aleph

 As I sit and write, it is Sunday 29^th April 2012. I am sat in the conservatory trying not to pay too much attention to my aching bones and muscles after completing the Bracknell half marathon earlier today. It was brutal, the rain poured down, much of the route was flooded and a chilling wind blew, biting through to the bone. As I ran I began to warm, there were a few high spots where all runners were completely exposed and cooled very quickly, but as we dipped we warmed once again. At every corner we were greeted by marshals stood guiding and clapping all the runners, they may have been wearing better rainproof clothing than the runners, but they had to stand relatively still for three or more hours in the wet, cold and chilling windy weather. Teams of other volunteers happily distributed water and sponges at the various water stations. I didn’t count but I heard it announced a couple of times that in total 150+ volunteers were out on the course at various points, clapping, cheering the runners on and giving kind words of encouragement. It seems an obvious thing to say, but without them there would be no race to run, no achievement to be had and no money to be raised for charity. And it dawned on me, everything I had thought I was doing in the aid of charity was not me at all as without the hundreds of volunteers on the day, the organizers who plan and manage the race, the sponsors who so kindly and generously supported my chosen cause and of course the various people at my chosen charity from fundraisers to support staff, to carers to professional medical staff and so on, who make it possible for the monies raised to be put to good use.

I’m not saying it was nothing, that would be false modesty, it was flipping hard work and it hurts right now, but it was an enlightening run as I had time to think of how so many people are behind all that we want to achieve in life.

Don’t be intimidated by other people’s opinions. Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risks and do what you really want to do.

-        Paulo Coelho, Aleph

I left school in 1984 with a handful of O - levels, I was fairly quiet at school, not very academically bright, not particularly good at any sport but I loved music, some things never change. I remember a meeting between the headmaster and my father, the headmaster explained that I was a nice lad, but probably wouldn’t do much after O-levels, as annoying and discouraging as it was, it sadly turned out to be true.

After leaving school my parents separated, instead of doing A-levels I took up business studies. But as a result of a slightly uncertain home life, University was the last thing on my mind, so I went out to work. After a few years my employer sponsored me through college and I ended up achieving my HNC in Electronics. And believe me that was tough, certainly for me, far too much advanced mathematics for my liking.

At the back of my mind through the years was this continual urge to complete a degree, never quite sure why. As the years went by I got busier and busier, my career didn’t suffer as a result of my alleged academic set back, but my inner desire to achieve my degree never really went away, nor did the words of my former headmaster.

So in 2008 I decided I would give a degree a go and enrolled on an ‘Openings Course’ with the Open University, it’s a 3 month introductory course a chance to see how you get along with study without over committing your time or your money. What I feared the most was simply not being bright enough to do it, but with the help of my tutor, it was more a case of getting my head down. And in 2012 I finally graduated with a BSc. I must add, due to previous study, including HNC Electronics and a Marketing qualification, I managed to get some study credit, so I wasn’t starting from scratch, but I can’t state how elated I was at its final completion.

I have however, come to realise, it was as much down to others as myself in achieving it. The sacrifice of my family, my wife and children, was as important as my determination to complete it. Not to mention the support of my fellow students, the tutors and the course teams who research, put the courses together and get the relevant accreditation.

Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do, accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Don’t assume it’s too late to get involved.

-        ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’, Mitch Albom

I know I’m not the brightest, I know I am not the fittest and I know I am not the fastest, but I will have a go at whatever my heart desires and somehow with the help of many other people, some I know and many I do not know or will ever meet, I am able to do interesting things. I think it helps me to realize, that many coincidences and people have brought me to where I am today, but it’s those who give that will help me get to where I want to be tomorrow.

The two tough questions I have now are. 

1. Where do I want to be tomorrow? 

2. How can I best give to help others achieve their hearts desire as others will mine?

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you