My prayer life has changed over recent years, I'm careful not to use the word evolved as that denotes improved, but it has simply adapted to the changing circumstances, sometimes driven by recommendation and sometimes just a simple desire to understand more of the faith I am a part of.

To help with this I have used different methods, I started by randomly opening the bible at a passage, reading it then praying on it. Then I started a book written by John Stott, 'Through the Bible, Through the Year. I would make lists of things I wanted to ask for and at other times I would just randomly start talking to God as though he was in the room next to me. Today I use reflections for daily prayer, which provides a daily reading from Psalms along with a reading from both the Old Testament and The New Testament. It also provides some reflective text on either the OT or NT.

But in between all this I would regularly read my Bible In One Year (BIOY) prepared by Nicky Gumbel from Holy Trinity Brompton. It's free and after a simple registration you can either receive the daily e-mails or download the App (BIOY).

http://www.htb.org.uk/bioy

I don't now generally have time to read them, but today's was particularly interesting for me. I would like to respectfully share todays readings commentary, with full credit to Nicky Gumbel.

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How to Avoid the Titanic Mistake

James Cameron, producer of the movie Titanic, says, ‘The Titanic is a metaphor of life. We are all on the Titanic.’

When the Titanic set sail in 1912 it was declared to be ‘unsinkable’ because it was constructed using a new technology. The ship’s hull was divided into sixteen watertight compartments. Up to four of these compartments could be damaged or even flooded, and still the ship would float.

Tragically, the Titanic sank on 15 April 1912 at 2.20am. 1,513 people lost their lives. At the time it was thought that five of its watertight compartments had been ruptured in a collision with an iceberg.

However, on 1 September 1985, when the wreck of the Titanic was found lying upright on the ocean floor, there was no sign of the long gash previously thought to have been ripped in the ship’s hull. Now scientists posit that the collision’s impact buckled or loosened the seams in the adjacent hull plate’s core, causing them to separate and allowing water to flood in – thus sinking the unsinkable ship. What they discovered was that damage to one compartment affected all the rest.

Many people make the Titanic mistake. They think they can divide their lives into different ‘compartments’ and that what they do in one will not affect the rest. However, as Rick Warren (from whom I have taken this illustration) says, ‘A life of integrity is one that is not divided into compartments.’

Jesus was described as a ‘man of integrity’ (Matthew 22:16; Mark 12:14). David led the people with ‘integrity of heart’ (Psalm 78:72). The writer of Chronicles says that God tests the ‘heart’ and is ‘pleased with integrity’ (1 Chronicles 29:17). 

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It caused me to think further, as part of my journey as an Ordinand to Ordination I find myself compartmentalising my life, 

1. Family (the most important), 

2. Work (My sense of purpose)

3. Christianity including Church and College. 

For those who may question my order of priorities, no this isn't an accident, neither does Church and college equate to God, he is above all and in all. But that is a separate discussion which I will avoid for now.

It is often a struggle to keep the three worlds going without some form of feeling torn, for as soon as I get a rest from one the other is calling me, following me around all the time is a guilt of not spending enough time with each. It is a daily battle and one I am coming to terms with.

I offer no words of wisdom, nor an answer to this predicament but as I said at the start of these blogs, I wanted to share some of my journey to ordination and not just the good bits. The journey presents more questions than answers, maybe in a future blog I can share the path to wisdom and how I managed this particular challenge.

How you you manage your life? Do you find yourself keeping it all together in one place or do you often find your life divided into compartments?

I think the main aim of this piece from BIOY is where people are living without integrity from the obvious, for example adultery, I am of course not seeing the passage in this way, just the everyday different roles I play in life. But don'w we all revolve around various roles, mum, dad, son, daughter, sister, brother, director, manager, nurse, doctor, servant, master etc. 

Maybe I should be reading the book mentioned by Nicky, 'A life of integrity is one that is not divided into compartments', Rick Warren

http://www.htb.org.uk/bioy/commentary/850 

 

A little water under the bridge…

 Yes, it has been a while since my last blog, I see my fellow Ordinands are well ahead of me here, but I do have a few good reasons, or to put another way some relatively creative excuses. I started a new job, which has proven extremely demanding, I have been stretched up and down and left and right and in a few other directions that I didn’t even know existed through my college studies, nothing more than what they term formation, but it took me to some interesting spaces, I don’t mean the glorious buildings one may associated with church, I mean the emotional roller coaster of life. And of course, I need to ensure I have quality time with my family, for all our sakes.

It was tough.

I don’t mind admitting, I have found myself in some dark places since staring training, challenged in ways I hadn’t been fully prepared for and so it didn’t seem the right and proper thing to write down my thoughts before now, but now on reflection I think it is safe to say that I have perhaps become a little wiser from the experience, though you will not find me admitting to being wise.

Lectures have been running at what could possibly be calculated at approximately 100MPH and in a language that was pulling me out of my depths, could this be the Hebrew they speak of in the Old Testament, or perhaps the Greek of the New Testament, or maybe it was the contemporary language in Jesus’ time of Aramaic? I fear it was just English, but not as we know it Jim..!

I would never profess to be what one may call an expert in biblical academia, but whereas I thought I had a reasonable grasp in the Old and New Testaments, at times it felt like the whole bible was becoming the Apocrypha, that is a text I had not read nor heard before.

So you see, I was hearing things coming at me at an incredible speed, in a language I didn’t understand and texts that were as unexplored as a mission to Mars.

To put simply, I felt out of my depth.

And to top it all, the first assignment handed in came back with some shocking news that threw me off balance a little; I’d missed some pretty key elements. So what does one do in a situation like this? Panic, give up or take a step back and figure out a more productive next step, I am pleased to report I took the latter option.

I soon came to realise that although I had a fair grasp of some aspects of Biblical texts, there were far more dimensions than I had considered, most of it around the historicity of key events.

Then it all made sense.

But with some carefully planned reading of some easily digestible texts, mostly calling themselves something along the lines of ‘An Introduction to…’ suddenly all the foreign language and pace of lectures started to take shape. I can’t tell you what a relief that was.

And so I found myself not only understanding what was being said and at a pace I could digest, but actually enjoying the lectures, embracing what was being said and, not trying to sound too clever, even managing to critically evaluate what was being presented and discussed.

And although I am quite probably the least likely to ever set the academic world on fire with my revelation insights in to new ways of thinking, I was now getting grades worthy of a good pass, I started to understand more of just how much I didn’t know, but this wasn’t a problem to me as I am now beginning to build what I believe are the foundational building blocks of what will be a lifetimes learning. Some subjects and one or two lecturers have even inspired me to what I think may one day become a future areas of ministry.

However there is one area, as with life, that has pulled me through more than any other. I know you expect me to say, prayer, or God or some such, and of course, there is no doubt this played an important part, but however you look at it, whether answer to prayer or God working, it is my fellow Ordinands that have quite possibly been the biggest help. There is nothing like comradery or people who are going through a similar harrowing experience and I know many of my fellow Ordinands were experience pretty much the same as me, maybe subtly different areas of challenge, but challenge nonetheless. And it is this shared experience and share compassion and shared practical help and discussion that has kept me smiling, encouraged and getting my assignments in on time. Oh and I mustn’t forget the humor, there are one or two who should they ever decide ministry is not for them, I think the comedy circuit would welcome them with open arms.