Do we really value what we have here and now?

It seems each of us, to varying degrees, are on the roller coaster ride of life, with its ups and downs twists and turns. For some the highs are higher and for others the lows are lower, but how many of us really find true happiness?

For some it seems to be the pursuit of money and power or better cars, bigger houses, travel to far off lands, perhaps it’s the freedom to not be under pressure of work, maybe it’s lots of friends or to be surrounded by family, to follow a faith, giving something of yourself or something different all together.

It does appear however that many of us have an inner drive that is never quite satisfied, always hungry or thirsty for more, but why and what?

I imagine as a human race if we were an easily satisfied bunch after discovering fire and inventing the wheel we’d have just sat back and relaxed enjoying every sunrise, every sunset, every meal and appreciating the love of our family and friends.

So who is happier? The ambitious person who works hard to learn, drives an ambitious career to reach the top, is curious to keep learning, absorbing new cultures and experiences and enjoying the occasional vacation or the person who wakes, works, eats, drinks and sleeps?

Well this one I think I can answer, it depends! Yes, it depends on the person, some find happiness in the former, though the very drive to conquer all these opportunities must surely indicate some level of un-satisfaction, even if temporary, or there would be no drive. The latter seems to be content with the simplest of pleasures like food and the occasional drink, but is it out of choice or entrapment? Oh dear, more questions!

Maybe true happiness is a balance of something in between, or to put another way is achievable when you have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference. OK, I admit, those aren’t my words, but those credited to Reinhold Niebuhr. But we do need to do perhaps three things here, which we occasionally seem to fail to do in the pursuit of happiness:

1. Accept the things we cannot change. Just deal with it, we may not like it but sometimes it just is what it is.
2. The courage to change the things we can, we sometimes hide behind excuses as to why we can’t do something, obstacles are inevitable in anything we undertake but can’t steal our dreams without permission. Quitting is optional though.
3. The wisdom to know the difference, which in many ways is the hardest part. Experience is a hard teacher, but as Anthony Robbins says, if you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

So maybe when we take on the wrong challenges, we wear ourselves out. When it comes to the right battles, we’re too worn out to fight and choose to rest. And in resting we miss opportunities, but never satisfy the hunger and thirst we have in our pursuit of happiness.

I want to make it clear that I’m very aware of medical conditions that people suffer from with depression, and am not in anyway belittling these illnesses nor suggesting that my thoughts above reflect or are the answer to these unfortunate conditions. There is a good deal of understanding and a good deal of professional help to deal with both physical and psychological conditions that may lead to depression. I am just looking at a general question of finding what makes us happy. Is it a pursuit, or do we have it here and now?

There are many books on the subjects that surround this theme; my favourite so far is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It's about the treasures we seek far away only to find them at our doorstep.

What makes you happy? Have you conquered this age-old mystery? Do share your secret.

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.