Well not quite, but this weekend I am about to
embark on a very special journey. A journey which, in a way, started before I
was born, but with a few twists and turns the odd obstacle here and there has finally
started to turn to reality.
So what is this journey?
In short I have been recommended by the Church
of England for training to be ordained priest. The training will be part-time,
Tuesday evenings with six residential weekends a year, plus a week in the
summer. All taking place at Ripon College Cuddesdon, Oxford.
http://www.rcc.ac.uk/ during my training I
will continue to work full time.
2 Anyone who claims to know all the answers
doesn’t really know very much. 3 But the person who
loves God is the one whom God recognizes.
- 1 Corinthians 8:2-3
(NLT)
This weekend will be my first official weekend
away, step one on my training path to ordination. Actually it’s just the induction
weekend, so I’m not quite expecting to be conducting weddings, funerals or
baptisms from Monday, but it is my first official time away from home spending
time with people I do not know, sleeping in a strange bed and starting what at
some level may only be three years of education, but a lifetime of formation
and change.
I won’t hide though; the thought of this is a
little (read a lot) scary.
It is a bit like the first day of school, from
being surrounded by a familiar and comfortable environment to being hurled in
to the unknown.
I married my beautiful wife Sharon nearly
twenty years ago, she is always by my side, even when I’m being a right pain or
coming up with some other hair brained scheme that might help satisfy my limited
curious mind.
I have three amazing sons, of whom I am immensely
proud.
Daniel is keen on sport and as I write is off
to University next weekend for the first time.
Sam is a very talented musician playing guitar
and piano and in his GCSE year at school.
Adam is interested in science, technology and
animals and gifted with an awesome sense of humour finding it easy to make
almost everyone he meets laugh.
I work in a well-paid job with frequent
opportunities to travel. So you’d have thought I have it all and have no need
to stress my life any more?
But my curious mind can’t help but get a sense
there is something more out there and I want to try to understand a little of
what that more is before my brief time in this life comes to an end. And more
importantly, how I can serve in sharing a part of that natural human desire for
hope.
Back in 2008, as mentioned in my last blog, I
embarked on an Open University degree. For this I studied various subjects, but
mostly around religion. I read about Judaism, Christianity, Sikhism, Buddhism,
Islam and Hinduism. All from an academic aspect of understanding the underlying
cultures that surround us today.
As a regular and active member of my local
Church, some people were a little surprised that as a Christian why would I
want to learn about other faiths? Well it is a fair question, and too deep to
go in to in detail in this blog, but it did give me a lot of insight. Most
notably that despite having achieved a degree for my studies, how little I
could possibly ever understand of each of these faiths let alone how little I
understood of my own faith. And just how difficult it is to be totally
impartial, however hard we try to be. Our lives and surroundings have a natural
way of shaping our thinking, the way we behave and the way we see and respond
to thoughts or ideas.
There is a story behind every
person, a reason why they are the way they are. Don't be quick to judge. Be
kind and assume the best.
- Nicky Gumbel
Yes I pray, read the bible, lead sung worship and
lead a home group. Have been privileged to preach and even lead services. I’ve
even been a Church Warden; I’ve never been in charge of so many keys in my
life!
So why I do I feel called to ordination? You
may well ask.
It is a difficult and complex answer to a
seemingly simple question, but let me try to outline a few thoughts.
What do I know of a parent who has lost a son
or a daughter? What do I know about two people who are terminally ill where
both are prayed for, yet one dies the other doesn’t? What do I know about loosing
a parent at an early age? What do I know of loneliness, suicide, depression or
despair? What do I know about being a single parent? Or living with so little
money I can barely heat the home or feed my children? What do I know about
being persecuted or even martyred for my faith?
Very little, actually almost nothing.
Yet God is bigger than all this. He’s bigger
than our understanding could ever possibly be.
I also ponder the question if two faiths live
side by side. Is one of them really wrong? Should we be intolerant towards our
neighbour until they understand our point of view? Should we bow down every
time someone tells us we’ve got it wrong and heed his or her example regardless
of what we know? Or should we each strive towards opening our hearts and minds
to understand more of the world around us, try to see it from someone else’s
point of view whilst helping them to understand ours?
I must admit I have quite a few more questions,
but I am not looking to just learn the answers to these questions and more. I
don’t believe I’ll even be able to answer even a few of these questions, nor be
able to give people the answers they think they seek.
But there is hope.
I have a faith and a belief that helps me understand
this. I have also seen it help countless others. I feel called to ordination to
help share this good news of hope, I feel called to broken humanity, not just
Christian activity. Called not to be better than everyone else, just to try and
be a better person than I was and not to look down nor judge others for their
beliefs or unbelief, but be ready for those who need someone to turn to but are
not sure who in times of crisis and not to forget times of joy and celebration.
What I do not know right now is what form or
shape this will take, as there are many areas where ordained priests can find
themselves, hospitals, universities, parishes, military, places of work,
overseas in deprived areas and so on. But I am following what I believe I am
being called to do and although inside I will admit to having some thoughts as
to how my calling may take shape, I am trying to be as open minded as I can to
where God is calling me.
You can’t have peace with
people until you have peace with yourself.
- Joyce Meyer
Some aspects of this journey will be lonely, as
there is no one out there like me, there is no one out there like anyone, we
are all unique.
In another way, it will be a journey surrounded
by many people, some on the course with me, some having done something similar
before and some just watching on with morbid curiosity to see what happens
next.
So I have decided to document my time during,
through and even after training. I want to be quite open and honest, I am sure
it’ll be a roller coaster of emotions, so I want to share what I feel as I go
through this journey.
So on tight and get ready for the journey…
I look forward to all that God has in store. I
thank all those who have prayed for me and continue to do so.
God bless
God is never blind to your
tears, never deaf to your prayers, never absent in your pain. He sees. He
hears. He is with you.
- Nicky Gumbel
