First day of school…

Well not quite, but this weekend I am about to embark on a very special journey. A journey which, in a way, started before I was born, but with a few twists and turns the odd obstacle here and there has finally started to turn to reality.

So what is this journey?

In short I have been recommended by the Church of England for training to be ordained priest. The training will be part-time, Tuesday evenings with six residential weekends a year, plus a week in the summer. All taking place at Ripon College Cuddesdon, Oxford. http://www.rcc.ac.uk/ during my training I will continue to work full time.

² Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much. ³ But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.

- 1 Corinthians 8:2-3 (NLT)

This weekend will be my first official weekend away, step one on my training path to ordination. Actually it’s just the induction weekend, so I’m not quite expecting to be conducting weddings, funerals or baptisms from Monday, but it is my first official time away from home spending time with people I do not know, sleeping in a strange bed and starting what at some level may only be three years of education, but a lifetime of formation and change.

I won’t hide though; the thought of this is a little (read a lot) scary.

It is a bit like the first day of school, from being surrounded by a familiar and comfortable environment to being hurled in to the unknown.

I married my beautiful wife Sharon nearly twenty years ago, she is always by my side, even when I’m being a right pain or coming up with some other hair brained scheme that might help satisfy my limited curious mind.

I have three amazing sons, of whom I am immensely proud.

Daniel is keen on sport and as I write is off to University next weekend for the first time.

Sam is a very talented musician playing guitar and piano and in his GCSE year at school.

Adam is interested in science, technology and animals and gifted with an awesome sense of humour finding it easy to make almost everyone he meets laugh.

I work in a well-paid job with frequent opportunities to travel. So you’d have thought I have it all and have no need to stress my life any more?

But my curious mind can’t help but get a sense there is something more out there and I want to try to understand a little of what that more is before my brief time in this life comes to an end. And more importantly, how I can serve in sharing a part of that natural human desire for hope.

Back in 2008, as mentioned in my last blog, I embarked on an Open University degree. For this I studied various subjects, but mostly around religion. I read about Judaism, Christianity, Sikhism, Buddhism, Islam and Hinduism. All from an academic aspect of understanding the underlying cultures that surround us today.

As a regular and active member of my local Church, some people were a little surprised that as a Christian why would I want to learn about other faiths? Well it is a fair question, and too deep to go in to in detail in this blog, but it did give me a lot of insight. Most notably that despite having achieved a degree for my studies, how little I could possibly ever understand of each of these faiths let alone how little I understood of my own faith. And just how difficult it is to be totally impartial, however hard we try to be. Our lives and surroundings have a natural way of shaping our thinking, the way we behave and the way we see and respond to thoughts or ideas.

There is a story behind every person, a reason why they are the way they are. Don't be quick to judge. Be kind and assume the best.

- Nicky Gumbel

Yes I pray, read the bible, lead sung worship and lead a home group. Have been privileged to preach and even lead services. I’ve even been a Church Warden; I’ve never been in charge of so many keys in my life!

So why I do I feel called to ordination? You may well ask.

It is a difficult and complex answer to a seemingly simple question, but let me try to outline a few thoughts.

What do I know of a parent who has lost a son or a daughter? What do I know about two people who are terminally ill where both are prayed for, yet one dies the other doesn’t? What do I know about loosing a parent at an early age? What do I know of loneliness, suicide, depression or despair? What do I know about being a single parent? Or living with so little money I can barely heat the home or feed my children? What do I know about being persecuted or even martyred for my faith?

Very little, actually almost nothing.

Yet God is bigger than all this. He’s bigger than our understanding could ever possibly be.

I also ponder the question if two faiths live side by side. Is one of them really wrong? Should we be intolerant towards our neighbour until they understand our point of view? Should we bow down every time someone tells us we’ve got it wrong and heed his or her example regardless of what we know? Or should we each strive towards opening our hearts and minds to understand more of the world around us, try to see it from someone else’s point of view whilst helping them to understand ours?

I must admit I have quite a few more questions, but I am not looking to just learn the answers to these questions and more. I don’t believe I’ll even be able to answer even a few of these questions, nor be able to give people the answers they think they seek.

But there is hope.

I have a faith and a belief that helps me understand this. I have also seen it help countless others. I feel called to ordination to help share this good news of hope, I feel called to broken humanity, not just Christian activity. Called not to be better than everyone else, just to try and be a better person than I was and not to look down nor judge others for their beliefs or unbelief, but be ready for those who need someone to turn to but are not sure who in times of crisis and not to forget times of joy and celebration.

What I do not know right now is what form or shape this will take, as there are many areas where ordained priests can find themselves, hospitals, universities, parishes, military, places of work, overseas in deprived areas and so on. But I am following what I believe I am being called to do and although inside I will admit to having some thoughts as to how my calling may take shape, I am trying to be as open minded as I can to where God is calling me.

You can’t have peace with people until you have peace with yourself.

- Joyce Meyer

Some aspects of this journey will be lonely, as there is no one out there like me, there is no one out there like anyone, we are all unique.

In another way, it will be a journey surrounded by many people, some on the course with me, some having done something similar before and some just watching on with morbid curiosity to see what happens next.

So I have decided to document my time during, through and even after training. I want to be quite open and honest, I am sure it’ll be a roller coaster of emotions, so I want to share what I feel as I go through this journey.

So on tight and get ready for the journey…

I look forward to all that God has in store. I thank all those who have prayed for me and continue to do so.

God bless

God is never blind to your tears, never deaf to your prayers, never absent in your pain. He sees. He hears. He is with you.

- Nicky Gumbel